Whenever I am on the beach I always see boats. I rarely see, however, a sailboat. I remember when I was younger away at camp they offered a course but it was on a lake not the ocean. I wonder if they do any fishing on it.

Originally uploaded by liv4day

Many people wear masks that are not visible to others.

I try to clock in when a message flashes that I am too early see your manager.  I know I am supposed to work here today.  Looking at the schedule I realize that I am an hour early for work.  Perfect.  I really could have used that hour of sleep.  My manager, however, is happy.  The morning is over in a bat of an eye.  I am happy to go to lunch.  My feet need a rest and the noise from my stomach applies that I am long over due for food.  Of course I can not clock out.  My manager says “Yes you can.  I clocked you in.”  I try again with no such luck.  She says “I know I clocked you in,” as she is fixing my time. 

The hour brake feels like ten minutes.  I start my shift laughing with a friend.  The manager separates us even though the work is accomplished.  This always happens.  We try to see how long it will take her.  Today only twenty minutes.  We still manage to cross each others paths.  Yet some how we manage to have a conversation that lasts the rest of my remaining three hours. 

I do not feel like changing in the car so I stop at a Starbucks.  I feel guilty about using their restroom so I buy a cup of coffee.  I should change before I add the cream and sugar.  I place it on the table.  It spills on this man’s shoes.  I want to hide as I feel the heat on my checks.  He laughs and says “Having one of those days?”  I can only nod and shake my head yes.  Contemplating if I should just leave or change he makes me another coffee. 

I am on time for my second job.  Since I am still in training, I find it rather boring.  I keep yawning.  She puts me on computer training.  Of course there is some kind of problem.  She retrieves the manager who says “I clocked you in so what is the problem?”  This is live déjà and it is only Wednesday.  Four more days to go I think as I rub my forehead.

A couple of weeks ago I met a professional photographer at a party. I felt eyes on me as I was taking pictures. He walks over to me and looks at what I have taken. After me just being me, he invited me to his next gig which happened to be on the beach. He said that I had this energy that he rarely sees. No he was not hitting on me because I do not have the right equipment.

I arrive at this private beach fifteen minutes early. Five minutes later this six foot perfect blonde walks up. As I am asking questions, which is a something I can not turn off, this man walks up. Turns out he is in charge of this shoot. I introduce myself holding out my hand. Instantly he is sizing me up maybe due to the fact that I am four inches taller than him. He said as he was walking past me “I think I remember Christian mentioning that you might show up.” I follow him like a puppy as well as the six foot hottie.

No need for a portable fan because the wind is blowing at least twenty knots. He sets up quick while ordering the blonde to her position. I pull out my camera when he said “What are you doing?”
“Christian said I could take pictures too,” I said.
“No. You are here to observe.” O.K. He began to take test shots when I take out my notebook. My hand is franticly writing when he said “WTF are you doing?”
“I’m taking…..”
“No! No! No!” So I stood there and watched him order this girl with a firm voice. He would yell be soft and playful that came out like he was calling plays at a football game.

I am surprised that I was able to learn anything from this idiot. I doubt that I am welcome to watch him again. He gave me a bad report to Christian. One thing he said was that I was not dressed in all black. Apparently when you are observing there is a dress code.

So what happens when you are the better friend?  When you are the one that is always calling or inviting and that person just blows you off.  Deep down you may be thinking that there is something wrong with you.  Well, nothing is wrong with you.  Everyone becomes caught up in their life.  I do not take it personally and you shouldn’t either.  

 Ask yourself these 5 little questions.

1.      Are you the one that always calls?

2.      Do you leave comments on their sites and they never comment back?

3.      Do they only talk to you when they need something?

4.      Have they stood you up when you had plans?

5.      Do they owe you money? 

If you answered yes to 3 of these questions I am sorry to say but they are not your friend.  Personally I think that they are just keeping you at arms distance just in case.  They may need something from you or they just don’t know how to be a friend.  Please do not point out their faults after all you are the better friend.  If you do it is OK too.

I received a call from an old boy friend today.  He is going to be married this summer.  I do not have any feelings for him but I have to wonder why not me?  How is it possible that he met someone and I keep going on the dates from hell? My last one lasted 2 hours in a restaurant which then he only left the waitress a total of $3.00.  I ran back in and left another $5.00. 

My photography is coming along better than I thought.  I have done a couple of head shots for some models.  I have not been to the beach in a week to take any candid ones.  I am going to go on Sunday. Plus my editing skills are improving.  I wish that I could have someone just teach me Photoshop instead of me doing it myself. I would like the easy way out just once.

I threw out all of my shorts.  Now I have only 2 pairs.  This is going to have to do because I can’t spend any more money on clothes. 

My final thought is why am I so damn happy if nothing is going right in my life?  I ask myself this when I am awake at 2am each time. 

Originally uploaded by liv4day

I am a hot girl on spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I am on my third drink as the night begins to roll around. My traveling companions have left me because they are hungry. Whatever. I plan on playing in the water with my new friends which are from Ohio. There are so many men that I am having a hard time choosing just one. I could really become used to this weather. I left cold dreary days back in New Jersey. Please tell me why that boy in orange is blowing a whistle at me waving his hands like a mad man.